And Then You Fly Page 10
“Which is precisely why he’s driving,” Blythe told her husband before she kissed him goodbye. “There’ll be hell to pay if you get out too far ahead of us,” she said to Jace. “Don’t you forget it either.”
Tucker grumbled as he walked around to the passenger side of the truck, but Jace didn’t miss the smile and wink he gave his wife.
What he’d give to have that with someone. Every time he thought he was getting close, it didn’t work out. Was that his penance for the accident? Maybe if he and Tucker could talk about it, if he could say how sorry he was, maybe his life would begin moving in a positive direction, one with love in it.
They were an hour into the drive before either of them spoke. Jace knew they had to talk, but he wanted Tucker to be the one to start the conversation. After a while he wondered if Tuck was waiting on him.
“How much of that night do you remember?” Jace finally asked.
“Bits and pieces. I remember more about that day. I remember how angry I was with her parents when they told me they wouldn’t let her marry me. I had to get out of that house and away from them. When I think back on it, I was just as mad at her. I didn’t want to admit it at the time, but it was obvious Rosa didn’t want to marry me anymore than her parents wanted her to.”
Now that they were talking about it, Jace wished they weren’t. This was going to be more difficult than he imagined, and he imagined it being impossible.
“She played us against each other,” Tucker said in the direction of the passenger window. Jace turned to look at him, but he couldn’t see his brother’s face.
“I came to the same conclusion,” Jace agreed. “When you drove up that night, she was begging me not to end it with her. I figured she was telling you the same thing when she ran toward the truck, and begged you not to leave.”
“You were wrong about that,” Tucker said softly.
They drove in silence a few more miles. “When did it start?” Tuck asked him.
“We were always friends, I mean all three of us were, since we were little kids,” answered Jace. “But it changed when we got into high school. She used to talk to me. At first it was about you, but then it changed. She knew how competitive we were.”
“I thought I wanted to marry her.”
“I gotta tell you, up until Thanksgiving Day when I heard you talking to Dad about it, I didn’t think you two were that serious. It hit me like a ton of bricks when I heard you tell him what you were planning. I called her while you were still talking to him, and I was furious. The whole day, I couldn’t think about anything else.”
“How did you end up over there?”
“She called me after you left, and begged me to meet her. I agreed, but only to end it with her.”
“How did she get you to change your mind?”
“Can’t say that she did. You came back while we were still talking about it.”
“She told me she was in love with someone else.”
“I know Tuck.”
“She was trying to get me to look at her, and I wouldn’t. I couldn’t stand the sight of her.”
“I felt the same way. I never wanted to see her again. I was mad sure, but I was hurt. I thought I mattered to her.”
“You did.”
“At the time I didn’t think so.”
“Her parents came to see me when I was in the hospital.”
Jace hadn’t heard this before. “And?”
“Her mother told me that Rosa never loved me, and that she’d only stayed with me because she was afraid of me. She also told me that Rosa had been in love with someone else for months, but she knew if she told me who it was, I’d kill him.”
“Jesus.”
“There was more.”
More? Jace wondered what more there could possibly be.
“She cursed me. She said I’d never find love because I didn’t deserve it. I spent a lot of years believing she was right.”
That part Jace understood, because it was the way he felt.
“I don’t know if I’ll ever get over the guilt of what happened that night. She died because of me. There’s no denying that part of it.”
“It was an accident Tucker. I’m just as responsible for it happening as you are.”
“You weren’t driving.”
“I might as well have been. I was the reason you were in such a rage, although you didn’t know it at the time.”
Tucker was quiet again, for a long while. “I understand why you didn’t tell me,” he finally said.
“I don’t. It’s unforgivable that I didn’t.”
“I don’t agree Jace. In fact, if the situations were reversed, I don’t think I would ever have told you.”
“That doesn’t make sense.”
“Rosa is dead. We can’t go back and undo it. I’ll always feel guilty about the accident. I’ll always feel responsible for her death, but what happened was just as much her fault as it was yours or mine. More so.”
“I can’t accept that Tucker. It was my fault. That’s the part I can’t get over. A better man would never have gotten involved with his brother’s girlfriend. It wasn’t casual Tucker, I probably spent more time with Rosa than you did.”
“And why didn’t I see it Jace? She was unhappy with me, if she hadn’t been, she wouldn’t have had time to spend with you. I wonder where the hell my head was the whole time.”
Jace had wondered then. Which was why he was so surprised when he heard Tucker tell their dad he wanted to marry her. He honestly hadn’t believed they were very serious.
“I don’t think I spent much time listening to her. She had you for that. I just did what I wanted, what I thought was best for her, I didn’t bother to ask her what she thought was best.” Tucker rubbed his hands over his face. “I can tell you, Blythe doesn’t put up with that shit for a hot minute.”
Jace laughed, he couldn’t help himself. He knew Blythe well enough to know she wouldn’t. She wasn’t unlike her sister in that regard. Whenever Jace assumed he knew what was best for either one of them, Bree was the first to tell him he didn’t knowjack.
“I forgive you Jace.”
Jace gripped the steering wheel as tight as he could, and struggled to keep his tears at bay. He’d longed to hear those words, but now that he had, he realized his brother’s forgiveness was only part of it. He needed to forgive himself, and he wasn’t sure he ever could.
***
There was no sign of Lyric when Bree walked into the house. It wasn’t surprising. Lyric was almost always off working one part of her business or another. Bree had never met anyone who worked as hard as Lyric did.
The house was stuffy, which told her Lyric probably hadn’t been there in days. She walked around the house opening windows. She unpacked, checked her email, and went to the market to stock up on groceries.
When she came back, she’d run out of excuses. She’d put it off long enough. She had to do it. She had to tell Jace she decided they shouldn’t see each other again.
Chapter 9
It wasn’t that simple. She knew she’d have tosee him. As he said last year, they’d always be a part of each other’s lives. Her sister, his brother, their baby. There wasn’t any way around it.
Logistically, it would be easy. She’d be here for another year, and then she’d leave. It was a decision she made before she left Idaho, before she said goodbye to Red, and promised to come back as soon as she could. That was step one, at least for now. After her year at the academy was up, she’d go back to Idaho.
She and Jace might see each other occasionally in that time. Maybe over the holidays, if he could get away. Otherwise, she’d make herself scarce if she knew he was in town.
They’d both done what they needed to do. She mourned Zack. She wasn’t finished, she hadn’t yet moved on to the acceptance stage of grief, she understood that. But she’d made progress. She was no longer in denial, that was the main hurdle she’d overcome.
And Jace? He reconciled with his brothe
r, and they were in Crested Butte together, arranging to make a deal to partner with their cousins in rough stock contracting on the Flying R Ranch.
Blythe was the one who told her about the deal. She and Jace hadn’t talked yet. They’d left messages for each other, but hadn’t connected. She knew it wouldn’t be much longer before they did.
***
The deal had been an easy one to make. Billy laid the groundwork before they arrived. The initial idea behind the partnership changed. Rather than Ben Rice and his brothers going into business with Billy, Jace and Hank, Tucker was added as a partner in the new venture.
There were barns and a practice pen already in place at the ranch. They’d need to add fencing strong enough to manage the bulls, front and back chutes and a few other things, but it wouldn’t take them long to get the Crested Butte operation running at full capacity.
“Lotta babies around here,” Jace said to Billy at dinner at Ben and Liv’s.
“Another one comin’.”
“Oh yeah? You and Renie been breedin’?”
“That’s a damn crass way to put it Rice, but yeah, we’re havin’ a baby ’bout eight months from now.”
Jace slapped his back. “Congratulations Billy, this is big news, specially for somebody as old as you are.”
Billy scowled at Jace, then shook his head, and his scowl turned into a grin. “Gotta give Willow a little brother or sister before she gets too big to wanna play with them.”
Willow was Billy’s daughter, with another woman who had passed away. Jace heard that Renie had adopted the little girl soon after she and Billy were married.
Jace looked over to where Renie played with their little girl, Ben and Liv’s baby girl, Caden, and Cochran. Willow was a couple years old than the other two, but they were close enough in age that they would grow up as playmates and friends.
How would it feel to have a baby of his own? He hoped one day he knew. Maybe one day soon. He wasn’t getting any younger—in just a few months, he and Tucker would turn thirty.
He walked out to the front porch and hit redial on his phone. He and Bree had been playing phone tag; he needed to talk to her.
“Hey pretty girl,” he said when she answered.
“Jace, how are you?”
“Better now that I hear your voice. It’s been too long since I have.”
“Where are you?”
“At Ben and Liv’s. They hosted dinner for the crew. Did Blythe pass on the news ’bout the deal we got goin’ down here?”
“She did, and congratulations. Not just about that. I’m so happy to hear you and Tucker have worked things out.”
“Yeah,” he sighed. “I can’t believe I haven’t talked to you about it. I sure have wanted to.”
When she didn’t answer Jace wondered if their call had dropped.
“Bree? You still there?”
“I’m here, but I’m awfully tired Jace. Can we talk more tomorrow?”
“Uh, of course we can. You okay Bree?”
More silence.
“Come on, talk to me. What’s goin’ on?”
“I’ve given this a lot of thought…”
Jace felt sick to his stomach. Was this really happening? Was she really about to say what he thought she was?
“Jesus,” he muttered.
“Jace please, hear me out.”
“What’s happened Bree? I thought we were both workin’ out our shit so we could see what might happen between us. You tellin’ me I was wrong about that?”
“Here we go Jace. Do you realize what you’re doing?”
“What am I doing Bree?” Sarcasm dripped from each word he spoke.
“Forget it. Why do I need to say anything at all? As usual, you’ve got it all figured out. Have a great life Jace. Maybe we’ll bump into each other over the holidays.”
This time Jace recognized the silence for what it was. Bree had disconnected the call.
***
That hadn’t gone the way she wanted it to at all. She wanted to explain that she’d given it a lot of thought, and realized how little they had in common. If she’d had the chance to explain, she knew he would’ve understood, even come to see things they way she did.
The first time someone shows youwho they are, believe them.It was a quote from Maya Angelou, and this wasn’t the first time Bree was reminded of it.
When she met Jace he was overbearing, unwilling to listen to the opinions of those around him, and generally—a pain in the ass. Just the way he was a few minutes ago.
***
“I gotta get out of here,” Jace said to Tucker. “Mind if I take the truck?”
“Hold up a minute.” Tucker had Cochran in his arms, and the baby was almost asleep. He handed the baby to Blythe, who took him inside.
“What’s goin’ on?” Tucker asked.
Jace walked back out to the front porch. Tucker followed.
“I’ve been spending some time with Bree. You know, Blythe’s sister.”
Tucker nodded his head.
“And I think she just dumped me.”
“Ya think?”
“Nah. I don’t think. I know.Shit.”
Tucker’s head was down, but his eyes were up. “And you wanna run.”
“Yeah, I guess I do. Not far though. I just gotta get away from all these babies and all this damn…happiness.”
Tucker laughed. “Come on bro, let’s ride instead.”
Jace followed Tucker to the barn. “You think we should ask somebody before we take one of their horses?”
“We’re takin’ two. And no, we’re good.”
They didn’t talk for most of the ride. When they did, Jace spoke first.
“I brought Renie out here on a day that she was fixin’ to run herself.” He laughed. “I got dumped that day too.”
Tucker didn’t respond.
“Come on Tuck. Say whatever it is you’re thinkin’.”
“I got nothin’.”
“Really? Nothing? Nothing at all? Or nothing you wanna say?”
“I figure I’m about the last person on earth who should be giving anyone advice about women. It is by the grace of God that Blythe loves me.”
“But…”
“Nope. I mean it. I got nothin’. I think just about anybody else in that ranch house could give you better advice than me.”
***
Ben Rice walked into the barn just as they finished getting the horses settled.
“Hey Ben,” said Jace. “Hope you don’t mind that we went for a ride.”
Ben smiled. “Better than one of ya leavin’ town without thankin’ my Livvie for dinner.”
Tucker laughed. “Exactly the reason I got him on a horse instead of lettin’ him get in the truck. Didn’t want Liv to think both of your cousins were rude assholes.”
“I woulda’ come back,” Jace grinned. “Unlike you.”
“Good to see you too givin’ each other shit again,” said Ben.
Jace and Tucker looked each other in the eye. Words weren’t necessary. Both felt the connection, it was solid for the first time in a very long time.
“How’s Blythe doin’?” Tucker asked Ben.
“Tired. I think she’s ready to call it a night.”
“You got a minute?” Jace asked Ben after Tucker left the barn.
“Got nothin’ but time out here on the ranch.”
“Can I ask about you and Liv?”
“I can talk about sweet Liv all day and all night. She’s my favorite subject.” Ben smiled again.
Jace doubted he’d ever known a guy happier and more in love than Ben Rice. Except Billy and Tucker, and his dad. Jeez, it seemed as though every guy he knew was happy and in love.
He’d heard most of the story of how Liv and Ben met. He’d also heard that Ben had to work mighty hard to convince Liv they were meant to be together.
“How did you finally win her over?”
Ben sat down on a bale of hay, closed his eyes and leaned his head back. �
��It was fate more than it was me, if you wanna know the truth. I just about gave up plenty of times.”
Ben stood and rubbed the nose of the horse in the stall closest to them.
“If this horse could talk, he’d be able to tell you how hard it was for me to convince her we belonged together. Isn’t that right Micah?”
Liv’s horse neighed as though he understood what Ben was saying.
“She was convinced she wasn’t enough for me, crazy as it sounds. The truth was we both had some cookin’ left to do when we first met. Wasn’t just her, it was me too. You couldn’t have told me at the time though.”
“Yeah?”
“Oh yeah. Once I decided she was the girl for me, I wouldn’t take no for an answer. Until I was finally forced to.”
“How’d you end up back together again?”
“I’m telling you, it was fate. Every time either one of us gave up, fate would throw us back in front of each other. We both decided we might as well start paying attention.”
“You know who Bree is, right? Blythe’s sister.”
“Yeah I do. Sad that, losing her husband.”
“We spent some time together, but now…”
“Talk about someone who’s still got cookin’ to do.”
“What do you mean?”
Ben continued to rub Micah’s nose. “You should talk to Liv about this. Nobody understands better than she does.”
Jace remembered hearing that Liv lost her husband before Renie was born, also in a war, also in the Air Force. He supposed Ben was right. Liv could shed a light on Bree unlike anyone else.
“Think she’d mind?”
“You don’t know Liv very well if you have to ask. You said you spent some time together. What does that mean?”
“My mama and Blythe conspired to get the two of us together. Bree was at a dude ranch in Idaho. One that I visited thinkin’ they had a bull for sale that my daddy wanted me to go and bid on.”
“No bull?”
“No bull.”
“Then what happened?”
“We spent a few days together. Talked about our lives. I credit Bree with helping me realize that I had to do whatever it took to fix things with Tuck.”