And Then You Fly Read online

  Billy had called another meeting. This time he wanted to map out their schedule. Jace could’ve saved them all a lot of time by telling Billy in advance to just put in his name in any slot that needed to be filled.

  He was the only one of them without any reason to want to be home. Billy and Renie had each other, and Willow, along with another baby on the way. Tucker and Blythe had each other, and Cochran. Ben and Liv had each other, and Caden. Ben’s brothers didn’t have any kids, but they had wives. He didn’t have anyone.

  How ironic that he’d invested in the ranch because he wanted to get off the road. Instead, he’d be back on it, more than he had been before.

  “You don’t have to do this,” said Renie, cornering him in the kitchen.

  “What’s that?”

  “Be a martyr.”

  Jace shook his head. “Here I thought you were comin’ to thank me for taking more on so Billy could be at home more often. Instead you call me a martyr.”

  “Good ol’ Jace. Nothing ever bothers him. Never flustered, never a hair out of place.”

  “What are you gettin’ at? If you’ve got somethin’ to say, just say it. Quit with all the bullshit Irene.” No one called her Irene but him. It was the way she introduced herself to him, back when they were together. Before she and Billy got married. She was stepping over the line, and he hoped that by calling her Irene, she’d know enough to heed his warning to back off.

  “No one asked you to spend more time out on the road than everyone else.”

  “No, no one did. I offered. It isn’t as though I have any reason—”

  Renie put her fingers on his lips. “Quit feeling so damn sorry for yourself Jace. If you want a reason to stay home, make it happen.”

  Billy drove one rig, with the bulls. Jace drove the other, carrying the broncs. They were headed back to Montana from Crested Butte. They didn’t plan to stop in Monument, until Bill Senior called and told him Bullet left the night before for Oklahoma, some kind of emergency with one of his kids.

  “Detour,” Billy told him when he called his cell. Jace hated that word.

  They pulled into Billy’s place two hours later, unloaded the bulls into the various pens, and then took the broncs over to Billy’s parents’ place. Tucker met them there and helped them unload.

  “Bree’s at the house,” Tucker told Jace when they finished.

  “She know I’m here?”

  “Wasn’t sure you’d want her to know.”

  “Yeah, you’re right. Good call. Sorry I’ll miss seeing Cochran though.”

  “Blythe said she’d bring him over when Bree left.”

  “That’s nice of her.”

  “Jace—”

  “Save it Tuck. I’ve been on the road, I’m beat, and I don’t feel like listening to anything you’re about to say.”

  When Jace turned around, Billy stood behind him. “Don’t start,” he said to him. He walked away, but turned back around.

  “It wasn’t that long ago that your lives were as shitty as mine is now. Just because you got what you wanted, your lives are turnin’ out better than mine, doesn’t mean you get to lecture me. I won’t listen to either one of you. Got it?”

  Billy turned and walked away, shaking his head. Tucker stood his ground. Jace could feel what he was thinking, he didn’t need to hear it.

  “You’re right,” Tucker said instead.

  ***

  Bree was in her second month of teaching at the academy. Her second month of wondering what had possessed her to take this on. Everywhere she looked she saw Zack. It wasn’t the cadets as much as it was the officers.

  Every single one of them reminded her of Zack. Most of them knew who she was, and if they didn’t today, they’d know tomorrow. She could tell. The look on their face changed as soon as they did. One day they’d smile and say hello, the next they’d say hello, they might even smile, but their eyes changed. They became clouded with pity.

  Every morning she dreaded making the eight-mile drive from Palmer Lake. She’d park, go to her office, teach, go back to her office, and drive home. Some days she’d stop at the cemetery and sit in the car. She didn’t get out; she didn’t walk over to Zack’s tombstone. She’d close her eyes, and wish she was living a different life.

  She’d think about the time she spent in Idaho, when she was trying so hard to mourn her dead husband. How ridiculous. All she would have had to do was come here. Every day she walked around in a state of mourning. Every day she was reminded of her profound loss.

  There had been a time that she and Zack talked about coming back to the academy. So many grads did. In fact, the current superintendent was a grad—a woman. She was a three-star general. The first woman named superintendent of the prestigious institution. The commandant was a grad too. He was a one-star. A pilot. The head of the department where she taught was a grad too. He was a colonel.

  Some of them had been deployed. Some had even served in Afghanistan. They came back though. Zack hadn’t.

  Sometimes her mind would drift. She’d imagine what it would have been like if he had. He would’ve been down at the airfield, she would’ve been up on the hill during the day. Maybe they would’ve met on the terrazzo for lunch. There would’ve been parties they would’ve gone to together. She would’ve joined the spouse’s club. And when they had children, they would’ve gone to school on the academy grounds.

  That’s what they would’ve done, if Zack had come back. But he hadn’t.

  Bree was babysitting tonight, so Tucker and Blythe could have an evening out to themselves. When she walked in the back door of the house, Tucker was waiting for her in the kitchen.

  “Hi,” she said softly. “What’s wrong Tucker?”

  “Come sit down,” he said.

  Bree’s hand covered her mouth and her eyes filled with tears. She started to shake.

  He stood and walked over to her and put his arms around her. “I’m sorry Bree. Nothing happened. Everyone is okay. I wasn’t thinking. Come. Sit.” He pulled her over to the table.

  She couldn’t stop shaking. He sat down next to her and put his arm around her shoulder. “I’m so sorry,” he said. “I should’ve thought this through better.”

  “Just tell me what it is Tucker.”

  “It’s Jace honey. I’m really worried about him.” He rubbed her back when she put her head on his shoulder.

  “Why?”

  “Can’t explain it, but I think it has something to do with you.”

  ***

  Jace was losing the ability to differentiate one town from the next. And traveling with rough stock was much different than traveling as a saddle bronc rider. As a rider he’d pull into town, pay his entry fee, cover a bucker or two, and more often than not, collect a check. Afterwards, he’d grab something to eat and a beer with the other cowboys, get a good night’s rest, and in the morning, head to the next town.

  Now he pulled in, unloaded bulls and bucking horses, made sure they were fed and secure, and then he’d head to the motel, get a few hours sleep, wake up, and tend the stock again.

  The only thing that changed was his travel partner. Billy, Tucker, and Ben rotated shifts. Ben’s brothers were responsible for the bulls and broncs that stayed behind in Crested Butte. Bullet and Billy’s dad covered the ones in Monument, and Jace’s dad, along with their ranch manager handled the stock still in Montana.

  The end of the season was in sight, although it wouldn’t last long. Once the Professional Rodeo Cowboy Association’s, or PRCA, National Finals were over, which would be mid-December, they’d have three or four weeks before the first Professional Bull Rider, or PBR, events started up again.

  He didn’t remember what it felt like to sleep in his own bed, or eat a home-cooked meal. He did go “home” between events, sometimes to Crested Butte, sometimes to Monument, less often to Montana. And while he did get a home-cooked meal when he was in either place, he was usually so exhausted that he’d unload the bulls, eat whatever was put in front of
him, and then fall asleep on the closest unoccupied bed he could find.

  The only good thing about the level of exhaustion he operated at, was that he was often too tired to dream. When he did, his dreams only plagued him.

  On the road, driving the endless miles between events, he’d get lost in thought. His mind would drift back to the night he spent with Bree. The memories were so vivid, he could remember how her lips felt trailing over his bare body, or how it felt to be buried deep inside her. He could picture the look on her face when they made love, and hear her soft moans of pleasure.

  He and Billy were the first team out on the road. After dinner Billy would go back to the hotel to call Renie, and Jace would head into the bar. There were cowboys he knew from his time on the circuit, but being around them made him feel like an old man. Most of them were in their early twenties.

  There were plenty of girls, but they were just as young, if not younger. Once or twice he’d agree to a dance, but nothing more than that. Holding them in his arms on the dance floor felt wrong. They’d rub themselves against him, and that felt worse. Sometimes he’d get so disgusted he’d walk away, leaving them standing on the dance floor alone.

  Eventually he stopped going to the bar. When Billy, or Tucker, or Ben went back to the hotel, so did he.

  “You’re a grouchy sonovabitch, you know that?” Billy said to him one morning at breakfast. Jace didn’t answer him; he kept eating. “Take a few weeks off. Go home.”

  “I’m good,” he finally said.

  “Bullshit,” Billy snapped.

  “Drop it.” When Billy didn’t. Jace got up, threw a twenty on the table and walked out of the restaurant.

  When Billy caught up with him, Jace felt like punching him.

  “We gotta talk about Thanksgiving,” Billy said. “We were scheduled in Nebraska, and I’ve pulled out.”

  Thanksgiving. As soon as Billy said the word, he knew what was coming next. Crested Butte. The whole family. Not just his family, and Billy’s, but Bree’s family too. Which meant Bree would be there.

  He thought he was miserable now. He’d be willing to take the bulls and broncs to Nebraska alone to avoid spending Thanksgiving in Crested Butte.

  It was like a damn Disney movie being around all of them. He and Bree would be the only two people there who weren’t happily married, with at least one child between them, and others on the way. It made him sick to his stomach just thinking about it.

  Breewould be there, wouldn’t she? As much as he prayed she wouldn’t be, the other part of him, his heart, prayed she would be. He knew, down to the day, how long it had been since he’d seen her. Did she? Did she think about him at all? Or had she moved on?

  The last he’d heard she was teaching at the Air Force Academy. That was before the school year started, but he didn’t have any reason to believe she would’ve done something different. If she had, he wouldn’t have known. No one talked to him about her. And he didn’t ask.

  There was one other person he longed to see as much as he longed to see Bree. His nephew, Cochran, who he hadn’t seen since September. He’d been on the road, and missed his first birthday.

  He could’ve gone, but that would’ve meant Billy and Ben would’ve had to be on the road at the same time. Once again, Jace said it didn’t bother him, he’d handle the events that week.

  Bree had been there, his mother showed him the pictures. She looked good. In every picture, she had a smile on her face. In most she was gazing at Cochran, he could see the love she had for him. But he saw something else, the haunted look. He’d seen it before, back when Zack first died. It would creep in at other times, when she was lost in thought, and he knew she was thinking about her husband.

  Was anyone paying enough attention to notice? Was Blythe, or her parents, or Lyric? Was Bree haunted in silence? He hoped not.

  What was he doing? Why did he always make his way back to worrying about her? She didn’t need him. She made that clear. And here he was, the idiot who thought he saw something in her eyes that no one else did. She’d get a kick out of that. He had no idea how he would face her on Thanksgiving, after her dismissal of him the last time they were together.

  ***

  Bree was glad Tucker opened the back door when he saw her coming. Her arms were full and she didn’t want to set any of the packages down in the snow.

  “Can you believe this weather?” he said when she got inside.

  “It’s either ninety degrees or snowing. Autumn in the Rockies, right? Have you heard whether Monarch Pass is open?”

  “Last time I checked it was, and the weather is supposed to get better, not worse.”

  “There’s Aunt Bree,” said Blythe, staying close to Cochran, who ran to his aunt. He started walking right after his first birthday, and spent most of his time either falling or bumping into something. He probably wouldn’t have as many scrapes and bruises if he’d walk. Instead, he ran everywhere he went. Tucker laughed about it, but it wasn’t Tucker who bandaged up the majority of his booboos, amidst heart-wrenching tears.

  Bree scooped him up and showered kisses all over his little face, which made him giggle, and kiss her back.

  “Bwing pwesents?” he asked, eyeing her packages.

  Bree sat him down on the floor. “There might be a couple for Cochran, but the rest are for Caden and Willow, okay baby boy?”

  He nodded his head and studied the pile of packages with awe. “For Caden and Willow,” he repeated, a little pout forming. Bree set the other boxes aside until she unearthed one with Cochran’s name on it, and scooted it in his direction.

  “This one is for you sweet boy,” she smiled at him.

  “Open?”

  “Yes, you can open it.”

  Blythe started to intervene, but Tucker put his hand on her arm. “You know how she is, let her be,” he whispered.

  Bree looked up at them, and was relieved to see her sister and Tucker smiling at her. She loved spoiling her nephew, and would have been devastated if they told her to stop.

  “Look mama,” said Cochran. “Dada twactah.” He pointed to the green miniature of Tucker’s John Deere tractor. He climbed on and rode it around the kitchen.

  “There are as many for him as there are for Caden and Willow. I just want to spread them out over the weekend.”

  “Aren’t you going to be here for Christmas?” Blythe looked as though she might cry.

  “Of course I am,” answered Bree. “These areThanksgiving presents.”

  Tucker put his arm around Bree’s shoulder and kissed her cheek. “What are we going to do with you?”

  “Let me be, isn’t that what you told Blythe to do?”

  “Can I put these in the truck?”

  “Yes please, and I’ve got a bag in the car. I’ll follow you out.”

  Tucker held out his hand for her keys. “I’ve got it,” she heard him say as he walked out the back door and closed it behind him.

  “I have news,” Blythe said when Bree turned back around.

  “Yeah? What’s that?”

  “Jace is coming.”

  Bree took a deep breath. This wasn’t unexpected news. She was glad he was. She hated to think he might not spend Thanksgiving with his family. Especially if his not doing so had anything to do with her. That would’ve broken her heart.

  “There’s more…”

  Oh no. Was he bringing someone with him? Why hadn’t she thought of that possibility? And she was here already, it wasn’t as though she could suddenly change her mind about going.

  “I just thought you should know since you’re going to be in the car with us for five hours, and we might have to stop a lot.”

  “What?” She hadn’t been listening. What was Blythe talking about?

  “It’s early, but I took a test this morning, and it’s official. I’m pregnant again.”

  Bree let out a cry of glee and put her arms around her sister. “Oh Blythe, that’s wonderful. I’m so happy for you. And for me—another baby to spoi
l!”

  Bree looked away, hoping that when she looked back, the look of pity on Blythe’s face would be gone. If this was her destiny, to be the world’s greatest aunt, instead of a mother herself, so be it. No amount of pity would change the cards she was dealt.

  Chapter 14

  Bree sat in Liv and Ben’s kitchen and looked out at the ranch. Everyone had something to do but her. Until their mamas put them down for naps, Bree had the babies to play with, but now that they were sleeping, she didn’t know what to do with herself.

  Blythe was resting, the five-hour drive from Monument to Crested Butte having worn her out. Tucker and Ben were out in the barn tending to the livestock. She had no idea where Liv and Renie had disappeared to, and didn’t know when her parents were arriving.

  She pulled her iPad out of her bag and opened an e-book, but she couldn’t focus on it. No one said when Jace and his parents would be arriving, and she didn’t want to ask. The thought that they might be driving into the ranch at any moment was an insurmountable distraction.

  “There you are,” said Liv, joining her in the kitchen.

  “Where was I suppose to be?”

  “Nowhere. It was so quiet I thought maybe you were resting too.”

  “No,” Bree answered wistfully. “I have more time to rest than you all do.”

  “Be careful what you wish for,” Liv winked.

  “Was I wishing for something?”

  “Have you talked to Jace?”

  Bree didn’t appreciate Liv’s implied segue between wishing for something and asking her about Jace. In fact, she found it annoying.

  “I don’t have any reason to talk to Jace.” Bree stood and slammed the cover closed on her iPad.

  Liv rested her hand on Bree’s shoulder. “Yes, you do. If nothing else, the two of you are friends. I know you care about him, and I also know he cares about you. If there are two people who need to talk to one another, it is you and Jace.”

  “There’s something you should know. I accepted your challenge that night. I walked over to the Villa to join Jace for dinner. He was otherwise engaged, chatting up a pretty girl at the bar. As for being friends, Jace Rice is my brother-in-law. He’s not my friend.”