And Then You Fly Read online

  “Wait. What? What are you sorry for?”

  “Never mind.”

  “Bree…you aren’t makin’ a whole lot of sense. Not that I am either.”

  “Which is why I want to fish. I don’t want to talk Jace. I don’t want to talk about my sister, or that kiss, or…anything. I just want to fish.”

  He waited to see if she’d say anything more. She didn’t.

  “Okay, let’s fish then.”

  He backed the truck up to the point where he could take the turnoff he was supposed to take before.

  “This way?” he asked.

  “We’re almost there,” she answered. “Look for a big, red rock, and park next to it.”

  “It’s a bit of a walk. I didn’t think about that.”

  Jace bent down and picked up a small branch. He ran his hand over it. “All set, got my walking stick right here.”

  She led him down the trail, through the trees, to the tributary Red brought her to the first day they’d fished together.

  “Wow,” he said when they came out of the woods and saw the rushing water.

  “I know. It’s breathtaking, isn’t it?” She picked up a rock and turned it over, giving him a chance to take it all in, the way she had the first time she came here. She put it back and picked up another one.

  “Whatcha’ doin’?” he asked when he saw her do it again.

  “Looking to see what’s hatching.”

  “What’s that mean?”

  She told him, the way Zack had told her, the basics of fly fishing.

  “Look at the sunlight on the water,” she said, speaking softly. “See the bugs on the surface? That’s what’s hatching. The fish come to the surface to eat. Our goal is to present a fly on the water in such a way that the fish will think it’s just another bug.”

  She chose a small dry fly. “This is all we’ll need.”

  Jace leaned in closer to her. He understood the reason she continued to lower her voice. Fishing was a quiet activity. If you got too loud, you scared them away.

  He stepped back, and she cast the line. It took his breath away. She moved so gracefully. Her movements were…delicate, quiet, fluid. She gently laid the tiny fly on the surface and it was immediately snapped up.

  She brought the fish in as gracefully as she had cast the line. Watching her was as breathtaking as the scenery surrounding her.

  She held the fish gently in her hand, removing the fly from where it was caught. She looked over at him.

  “I have a ritual. It’s a little, uh, embarrassing.”

  “Go ahead,” he smiled.

  “I talk to them.”

  “And what do you say?”

  “Well…this is one of the bigger guys. So with him, I’ll just tell him I’m sorry, and send him back.”

  “And if it was a little guy?”

  “I usually tell them not to tell their mom what happened. And then I ask them to send their dad or their big brother back to me.”

  If things were different between them, that would’ve made him want to kiss her all over again. As it was, Jace realized that he was going to have to leave soon, or he’d make the same mistake he had earlier. She wanted his friendship, his comfort—nothing more. Maybe she considered him more like a brother, he was her brother-in-law after all.

  They spent the next few hours in the same spot. Jace learned how to cast. He snagged his line, caught his fly on bushes, and caught about a third of the fish Bree caught.

  He couldn’t remember the last time he had such an enjoyable day. He even forgot the ache in his knee, for the most part. Every so often he moved it the wrong way, but otherwise, he was so focused on fishing, and on Bree, he didn’t notice it.

  He sat down on a rock and watched her cast again. He’d be willing to bet she’d forgotten he was there. Ten minutes or more passed before she turned to look at him. He hadn’t taken his eyes off her.

  “Bored?”

  “’Bout as far from bored as it gets,” he answered.

  “We should head back anyway.”

  “Why should we do that?”

  “Honestly? I’m exhausted,” she laughed. “Red doesn’t usually last this long when we go out. I’ve grown accustomed to him calling it a day long before I get tired.”

  “I had a great day Bree. Thanks for bringin’ me here.”

  “It was my pleasure Jace. And you’re welcome.”

  They packed up their gear and trekked the mile or so back to where they left his truck. They stood next to the tailgate and watched an eagle circle above them.

  “I should head home,” he said.

  Bree didn’t look at him right away, instead she continued to watch the eagle above them. “Do you have to leave tonight?”

  “I should.”

  “I wish you didn’t have to.”

  She still hadn’t looked at him, and he wanted her to. “Bree, darlin’, look my way.”

  She slowly turned her head toward him, but kept her eyes closed. He stroked her cheek with his fingers. “Please look at me.”

  She opened her eyes and the tears were back.

  “I’m about as lost in knowin’ what to do when it comes to you as I am when I try to cast a fly.” He reached out and circled her shoulders with his arms. When he did, she wrapped hers around his waist. He kissed her hair, then rested his cheek against it. He breathed in deeply. She smelled like sunshine, and outdoors, and the breeze.

  “I’m sorry,” she sighed.

  “Come on,” he walked her over to her side of the truck. “Let’s go back. I’ll call my daddy and see how things are at home. Then we’ll talk some more.”

  Before she could climb in herself, Jace put his hands on her waist, and lifted her into the truck. It made her giggle, a sound he was growing to love the more he heard it.

  ***

  “Guess you’re stuck with me for a couple more days at least,” he said when he hung up from talking to his father. “Turns out there might be a bull ’round these parts after all.”

  “What do you mean?”

  “There’s a fella buckin’ bulls in Stanley this weekend. My understanding is that he’s also got an auction in the works. My daddy thinks there might be a bull or two worth me stickin’ around for.”

  Bree wasn’t sure what to do with this information. She was glad he was staying. Very glad. But the kiss had changed things, and that was the part she wasn’t sure about.

  When Jace kissed her, she didn’t want him to stop. And tonight, no matter how many times she told herself she shouldn’t, she knew full well that she’d do just as she’d done the night before. It was too tempting having him on the other side of the thin cabin interior wall. She’d want him to hold her until she fell asleep, because when he did, the nightmares didn’t come. And that wasn’t the only reason she wanted him to hold her. It felt good, and right, to be in his arms.

  The problem was, he’d want more. And after the heat of that kiss, so would she. But she knew, and there was no denying it, it was a step she wasn’t ready to take. Was it fair to him to ask him to be there for her when she knew she was also asking him to hold back his feelings, without it being said?

  Jace reached over and stroked her forehead, his finger running over the creases she knew were there.

  “Just because I’m stickin’ around, doesn’t mean you’re really stuck with me. I know you’re here to spend some time on your own. I don’t want to intrude anymore than I have already. I can always find a place to bunk in town. Is that what’s causin’ all this worry in that pretty head of yours?”

  Bree leaned forward so she could rest her furrowed brow against his chest. “What’s worrying me is how much I want you to stay. And by that I mean stay here with me.”

  Jace didn’t know how to respond. Stay here with her as he had last night, in the other part of the cabin, or stay with her, in her bed? If he did stay with her, would she ultimately regret it? He’d be the detour again. She needed to stay on the road she was on. Even though he didn
’t know much about grief, he did know there were stages of it she needed to work through. He couldn’t let himself get in the way.

  There wasn’t anything selfless in his thinking though. He wanted her to work through it, because he wanted her to be his…all his. As long as part of her still belonged to her late husband, she could never be his completely. This time, with this woman, he wasn’t willing to settle for any less than all of her. He was done compromising, done settling, done accepting anything other than it all.

  He wanted what his parents had, and what Tucker had with Blythe, and what his friends Renie and Billy had. He wanted a great, all-encompassing love, and from the day he met her, he’d known somewhere deep in his soul that Bree was meant for him, and he was meant for her. Their timing was off, but that was all. Everything else about them worked. They fit. He could be patient, he could wait until she was ready. She was worth it. He was as sure of it as he was sure of his own name.

  “I’ll tell you what,” he began. “I’ll stay, just like I did last night, next door. I’ll even hold you until you fall asleep, just like I did last night, but that’s it Bree. I won’t allow anything else to happen between us.”

  At first she looked surprised, then confused. His fingers that were running across her furrowed brow only moments before, stroked down the side of her face.

  “Bree—” he breathed.

  “Don’t say it, I’m begging you not to say it.” She pulled away from him and started to walk in the direction of the cabin.

  He grabbed her arm, there was no way he could chase after her and have any hope of catching her with his knee in the shape it was in. If she made it all the way to the cabin and got her door closed, he might not be able to convince her to let him in.

  “Stop!”

  She spun around and glared at him. “Don’t you tell me to stop, don’t you tell me to do anything Jace Rice.”

  “I have somethin’ to say to you and you’re gonna listen to me.”

  “I already told you I don’t want to hear it.”

  “That’s only because you think you know what it is I’m gonna say, and you don’t. You don’t have any idea.”

  She folded her arms across her chest.

  If he wasn’t about to tell her how important he thought it was for them to wait until they were both ready, he’d pull her into his arms and kiss the daylights out of her. Instead he took a deep breath.

  “You mean a lot to me Bree, more than you know, or at least more than you’ll allow yourself to believe. When the time is right, I want the chance to see where this thing between us is going. But, the timing isn’t right. It isn’t right for you, but more importantly, it isn’t right for me.”

  He saw her arms relax, even if she didn’t drop them completely. Her stiff shoulders softened as did the glare she’d been giving him.

  “I am not proud of what I did to Tucker. In fact, I’m downright ashamed of it. I could blame it on my youth, but that would be taking the easy way out. Instead, I’m gonna take responsibility for what I did, and I’m gonna do whatever it takes to get Tucker to forgive me. But in order for me to do that, I have to believe I’m worthy of his forgiveness.”

  That made her drop her arms.

  “There’s a lot I need to work on, the same way there’s a lot you need to work through. And when we’ve both done that work, I’d like to come back together and see if this overpowering thing between us could turn into something real. Something lasting.”

  She looked at him but didn’t speak.

  “Now tell me Bree Fox, is that what you were begging me not to say?”

  “No, it wasn’t,” she murmured.

  “What was that? I couldn’t hear you,” he prodded her.

  “I said it wasn’t.”

  “You were so sure I was going to tell you that I didn’t want to make love to you because I’m in love with your sister. Am I right?”

  “Yes, Jace.”

  “Speak up woman, I can’t hear you.”

  He was having a hard time keeping a straight face, because the look on hers, like she was ready to belt him, was so damn cute. But he knew if he started to laugh, she just might follow through and slug him. Worse, he might hurt her feelings and that was something he definitely didn’t want to do.

  “So about tonight…”

  “Yes?”

  “Will you stay?” she whispered.

  Chapter 6

  As if she could get him to leave. He hoped that since he assured her they would not be taking the physical side of their relationship any further, she would relax around him.

  “How would you feel about taking a drive with me?”

  “That sounds nice.”

  He liked that she didn’t ask where. He wanted to get her away from the ranch for a little while. Not that he minded the place, or Red or anyone else who worked there, he was just ready to be alone with her.

  They walked to the truck and he opened the passenger door. Before he could lift her up, she put her hand on his shoulder and climbed in.

  The view of the Sawtooth Mountains as they drove south was breathtaking. Jace hadn’t spent much time in Idaho and was amazed by its beauty. He’d had no idea.

  Bree said she’d been to Hailey, but wasn’t sure if she’d spent any time in Sun Valley. Two friends of his from Aspen had opened an Asian-fusion restaurant right on Highway 75 in the main stretch of town. From what he’d heard, it was a popular place and they were doing well. The drive would take them over an hour each way, but they weren’t on any kind of schedule, so why not make the trip?

  Bree seemed relaxed, and still hadn’t asked where they were going. If she didn’t ask, he wouldn’t offer. Maybe it didn’t matter to her. It didn’t to him. He still had to pinch himself every now and then just to be sure he wasn’t dreaming. He was so happy to be with her. That was the simple truth of it.

  Her phone pinged and it startled her. She pulled it out of her pocket and looked at the screen.

  “I’m not used to having much of a signal.” She seemed distracted by it, but whatever it was brought the sweetest smile to her face.

  “Can I see?” Jace smiled over at her.

  “Of course,” her smile had gone dreamy as she held the phone up for him to see. The photo on the screen was of their nephew Cochran. Big green eyes smiled back at him, the same way Bree had.

  “He looks like you,” she said.

  “That’s what my dad says. Although I’ll remind you, as I reminded him, Tuck and I are twins. So in fact, I think Cochran looks like his daddy.”

  “No, I disagree. He looks more like you than Tucker.”

  That took him aback. She was as adamant in her opinion as his daddy had been. It felt as though someone was squeezing his heart, the ache of being reminded again that he hadn’t ever met his nephew nearly strangled him.

  “He’s worth it Jace,” she said, still staring at the photo on the screen. “He’s amazing. Happy, funny, sweet and cuddly. Gosh, I hadn’t realized how much I miss him.” He could see tears filled her eyes, but her smile remained.

  “I want to meet him.”

  “Make it happen.”

  “It isn’t all within my power Bree.”

  “Of course it is. You’ll figure it out Jace. I know you will. In fact, I’m counting on it.”

  “You’re counting on it.” It wasn’t a question, it was a statement.

  “You told me once we’d always be in one another’s lives because of this baby. Every minute I’ve been with him, since the day he was born, I’ve imagined what it would be like to have you there with us.”

  Jace didn’t know what to say. The vise grip on his heart grew tighter, if that was possible.

  “I talk to him about you all the time. He knows about his Uncle Jace. And someday soon, when he starts to talk in a language we can understand, I know we’ll find he’s asking about you.”

  She did it again. She tightened the grip on his heart. He didn’t think he could take much more.

 
“Do you really?” It was as though he was afraid to say it out loud, his question only a whisper.

  “Yes Jace. I really do. I talk to him about you all the time.”

  He brushed the tear that leaked out of his eye away with the back of his hand. She was right. Cochran was worth it. He had to figure out how to get through to his brother. No matter what it took. He couldn’t stand the gulf that separated them any longer.

  His friends’ restaurant was everything he’d heard and more. They were both there, and while it was busy, it wasn’t so much so that they couldn’t sit and talk with Jace and Bree. It was after eleven when he finally realized how late it was. The drive would put them back at the ranch close to one in the morning.

  When his friends invited Jace and Bree to stay with them, he wasn’t sure how Bree would feel about it. They were definitely making the assumption that he and Bree were a couple.

  He thought about excusing himself to see if she would follow, so they could discuss it privately, when he heard her accept their invitation. She put her hand over his and said, “We’d love to, thank you for inviting us.”

  “You’re sure?” he asked her.

  “Yes, I’m sure. It’s too late for us to drive back now.”

  At the house they stayed up even later, talking about the fun they’d had growing up in a place like Aspen. Bree loved hearing about Jace and Tucker’s antics as boys.

  “Did you ever find out who the other guy was?” they asked.

  Bree felt every muscle in Jace’s body go rock hard. He murmured something unintelligible, and said he thought it was time for them to get some sleep. His abruptness did not go unnoticed.

  “Are you okay?” she asked once they were alone in the guest room.

  “It’s something I know I have to own up to, but…I’m not sure I’ll ever be man enough to do it.” He was sitting on the bed, his head in his hands. She sat down next to him and ran her hand over his back.

  “You and Tucker need to heal first Jace. You don’t owe an explanation to anyone else. It isn’t anyone else’s business.”

  “Isn’t confessing part of this Bree? Isn’t that part of making amends, admitting what I did? Admitting what role I played that horrible night?”